"The space around you is beginning to grow vast ... Be happy about your growth, in which of course you can't take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don't torment them with your doubts and don't frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn't be able to comprehend.
"Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn't necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust.... and don't expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it." ― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Dear Friends,
Becky's family has put together this blog to re-member Becky's life as she touched us all in so many ways. We treasure our memories of her and hope you do as well. We have divided those memories of her life up into 4 movements which were organic in real time:
Her story is your story ... share the impact
But OUR memories can never tell the whole story. It must be documented and completed over time as its impacts become clearer to our minds and hearts. So as YOU read this HOME page and the 4 permanent pages chronicling the movements in Becky's life on earth,
- PLEASE SHARE YOUR MEMORIES
- by simply clicking on the "Comment" link at the bottom of each page and
- relating the impact she had on you ... along with your identity.
- Leave comments on more than one page if the Spirit moves you to do so.
- And return from time to time to observe the dialogue and help the story unfold.
This request is not sentimental, although your memories may contain deep and strong sentiments. This request is essential ... even existential. For YOU possess a part of this narrative that NOBODY ELSE HAS ... and Becky's story was and will never be complete apart from your story. That is the way "impacts" work:
impact — the effect one body in motion has on the momentum and direction of proximate, local bodies with which it comes into contact.
The narrative we never imagined ... share the transformation
Becky was laid low by irresistible forces of Nature on the afternoon of March 14, 2025. We thought it a tragedy sans hubris from our vantage point on earth. Many lovingly wept and faithfully prayed for her. Technology spared no expenditure or exertion of its greatest powers to save her life. But Nature was implacably and unrelentingly deaf.
And yet something hidden from us was silently and equally irresistibly taking place that we somehow failed to imagine. Until, on the afternoon of December 11, 2025 — after a family-wide spiritual gestation of almost nine months to the day — we blinked and she gracefully rose up from among us — as if responding to a voice we did not hear — to press on with her life's journey in a new and, at first, frightenly expansive way — like a seed when it first sprouts from the closed, dark earthly womb which bears it into the open, glorious light of the sun which nourishes it. And, although we could not accompany her on this new journey, we slowly began to realize that something other than "death" was happening. Her life form was no longer familiar, but we could feel that it was real nonetheless.
So we gathered as soon as possible with her friends and her body and — with natural and religious ceremony according to her wishes — we committed the body back to the earth from whence it came as we recited familiar words that suddenly rang truer than any tolling bell as they helped us imagine that she was never really alone as she laid low or as she arose. And, although we will greatly miss her bodily presence among us, we now have an undying, abiding gladness to have been present to witness her climb the step into eternity ... hand in hand with her great and everlasting Lord and with the great cloud of witnesses she loves and with whom she continually labored and is now joyfully reacquainted and reunited.
Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
A time and a way to exhort one another ... pay it forward
A memorial service is scheduled for Saturday, January 10, 2026, at 2:00pm at Eastminster Presbyterian Church, 1958 N Webb Rd, Wichita, KS 67206.
No flowers or food are needed right now ... her many gardens will bloom with them
soon enough. But if you wish to express your love, consider contributing to and/or joining in
her most recent work in memoriam at
Sunnydale Community Library
may God bless you ... as God has and is blessing Becky,
The Elder Family
Share YOUR memories of Becky HERE.
ReplyDelete“I want her.”
ReplyDeleteThese were the first words Mrs. Elder spoke to me, the day I was greatly privileged to meet her. I wasn’t intentionally being enrolled at Northfield, it was only supposed to be my older brother. After the meeting, Becky confidently pointed at me, cleaning rag in hand, smiled, and said “I want her”. She was dressed in her pink, sleeveless, collarred shirt, shorts, sandals, and tossled hair in a clip. Sweat was dripping from her brow. Time was precious and she was never one to be wasting it.. When we first showed up, Mr. Larson had to help us hunt her down. “She’s like the wind, here one minute and gone the next,” he said.
When we found her, she was cleaning, preparing for the busy school year ahead. Immediately, I knew there was something beautifully odd about Mrs. Elder.
Like numerous other students, she put me on scholarship..
She instilled a love for words and wonder in me. She gave life a new depth and purpose I wasn’t aware could be, until experiencing her. In EVERYTHING she did, she was passionate and fully present, it was contagious. From scrubbing toilets, scolding folks for not flushing (if you know, you know “PLUNGE IT! PLUNGE IT! PLUNGE IT!!!”), working in the dirt, or speaking on Aristotle and Plato…
Golly, did she ever know how to love people with her whole self. The most serving, passionate, and selfless heart I’ve ever been honored to know and love. Becky changed my life’s course. I’m one small piece of so, so many.
There aren’t enough words..there simply isn’t enough time to capture who Becky was.
To the Elder family, thank you. Thank you for sharing her with all of us. Not that anyone could’ve stopped her, she was a force to be reckoned with and determined beyond anyone I’ve ever seen.
I Imagine there is a great discussion taking place in heaven, now..
“…until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.”
Loving you endlessly, until we meet again ❤️
-Susannah Hayes
Hey! It's Pat Langness, the goat and chicken lady from 13 years ago. I'll help with the library. I took off in Becky's van and then lost the title. I owe her big time, although when I mentioned it to her, she didn't remember the incident. Holler and
ReplyDeletelet me know when and how I can help at the library. My homeschooled Grandchildren live across the road and
Would love to visit Grandma and help to,
I'll bet.
Becky and I shared a. Love of our extended family. We went back to Inman and saw the home her Grandfather and my Grandmother grew up in. It is also the home I grew up in. Many Memories. We shared our love of information of our family that went before us. I loved spending time with Becky . We also went to visit all our departed ancestors. We discussed all of them. Their resting places are in Inman and Buhler. She loved going through the Inman Museum as we relived how things used to be. I will miss her but will relive the Memories and Rejoice with her in Heaven. Jan Flickinger
ReplyDeleteBecky was a true force of nature. She and Phil attended Heartland Community Church in Wichita for many years. My family attended a thrilling Wednesday evening bible study at the Elder's house from 2000 to about 2005. As a child in elementary school and middle school, the Elder's house was a place for adventure, friendship, and being outside on the farm with your buddies and the family dogs. I feel like I spent half of my life up on their hay bales. All that to say, Becky and her family were more than just family friends. They were like family. Becky was another mom for me. Giving me advice and offering correction when needed. Becky was everyone's cheerleader. We all miss her so much.
ReplyDelete- Jon Larson
I first met Becky back in ‘14, she was a little concerned about the push back on her efforts to open the school in this neighborhood, I told her not to worry, if it’s God’s will it will happen 4 there’s no pushing back against “the Big Guy “. After getting to know her over the next year I could see she was a real go getter, hard working and stubborn with a genuine concern 4 the wellbeing of others and a belief in every person’s potential. I told Becky one day she reminded me of the actress gal in the movie “ Billy Jack “ she smiled he he…. Gee… I wonder if ever reminded her of Tom Laughlin? Now Becky’s home in Heaven enjoying eternal retirement as a young lady again made whole by the Lord and basking in his love and glory but something tells me she’s started a community garden up there and has put even Jesus to work helping her plant tomatoes, why am I not surprised 😂 when i get there she’ll have me help harvest them! No rest for the wicked I guess 🤣. Well Becky, until we meet again and remember, the mator is a veggie 🥕 not a fruit 🍌 unless u slice up and put sugar on it 🙂.
ReplyDeleteIn the school days Becky was best known to me as an amazing athlete. I didn’t share classes with her at Collegiate but we shared the field and the pool as our playground.
ReplyDeleteIn the pool we swam so Becky could show her magic - we were accomplished swimmers but we did our best swimming what we we’re assigned - but watching Becky swim the breaststroke was thrilling and then knowing that she was trying out for the Olympic Games was amazing. She showed us all what dedication and determination could accomplish.
The bond created in high school never went away and was reignited whenever we saw each other. Her life was such an inspiration and I am honored to have known her. My heartfelt condolences to her family and friends.
How to begin with the memories of my dear, dear friend Becky. My memories will focus on her early years as I have known she and her family since we were 10 years old. I met Becky when we were both swimmers with Wichita Swim Club. We spent hours a day swimming and playing between workouts. We trained two times per day early morning and later afternoons. Our team traveled throughout the Midwest including Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, sometimes Texas, Minnesota, and Tennessee. She was of course, the star swimmer nearly gaining a berth to the 1968 summer Olympics in Mexico City. We developed a very close relationship during these years. Becky clearly developed the ambition, determination and self discipline to achieve her goals during this time, which manifested throughout her life. She was never boastful or self centered, just self determined and confident.
ReplyDeleteI subsequently started going to middle school at Wichita Collegiate where our relationship expanded from swimming colleagues to school friends. We competed in group activities including cheerleading, basketball, field hockey, and swimming. Both of us at the time kind of jocks during that era of developing Title nine advantages for girls and women. We were both athletic but also took school seriously to a degree. We spent many years enjoying each other families. I often spent the night and was part of the Love philosophy conversations which were always stimulating and enlightening from the Family perspective. They had a very strong influence on my younger development and helped me to be more analytical as I grew older and more astute about the influences of the world around me once I left the more sheltered world I had lived in,
Becky was also very interested in music during our high school years and particularly loved The Who and Pinball Wizard that we would play on the VCR in the Thunderbird car in the driveway. We had many fun and close growing up experiences that made us very close friends.
I was able to visit the family cabin on Lake vermillion in Minnesota, where we would water ski and make blueberry pies to enjoy after ice cold skinny dips in the late night and revive with blueberry pie and homemade ice cream.
When I was off to college and on a sabbatical. Becky and Randy visited me in Switzerland. We spent several days together hiking in the mountains and staying at a beautiful chateau on Lac Leman when Becky was visiting Randy at Oxford during his sojourn in England.
After this time we grew in different directions. Becky went south to Sewanee, I lived in Colorado. Becky married and started a family, I journeyed through various adventure activities. We truly reconnected only a few years ago when she became interested in environmental sustainability and conservation which I had been working in throughout my professional career. Our connection with each other never had faltered only distance and life styles had kept us apart. She and I were true and everlasting friends throughout our lives and the loss I feel is greater than I ever would have expected. She was a magnificent human being in most every way. I mourn the loss of our burgeoning friendship and have the utmost respect for the individual and community leader she was. I love and cherish Becky and will never forget her influence on my life and others and her thirst for knowledge and abundance. I miss her every day.
Above was written for Becky by Jennifer Kathol
ReplyDelete